The Great Philosophy of Free Will-Maxxing

A possible philosophical cure to the existential struggles of life.

It sounds horrendous. Especially with the term “maxxing” tacked onto the end, but nothing else really describes it. By Free Will-Maxxing, I mean the practice of intentionally recognizing and exercising your existence. You are your own agent and you have choices that can be meaningful if you finally act on them. Let me further explain this philosophy that I think may one day cure the endless pain I feel.

To set the stage, I don’t really know what to say without overexposing my mental dispositions but I struggle. I live life very happily, fully, and busy to try and maximize my opportunity and possibility for the future. But no matter how many pounds I lose, how many meals I learn to cook, or how many times I see my friends, it’s never enough. Life feels like it will always be permanently injured and insufferable to push through. I always feel empty and impossibly alone in not only my suffering, but in my joys.

While being abroad, I went through an unprecedented amount of change. I had to stop going to church because I couldn’t navigate them, I ended a relationship, a friend of mine died, I was forced to slow my pace. But because I was abroad, and also because I was surrounded by predominantly wealthy peers, I traveled. And traveling healed a lot for me in many ways. It allowed me to see the way people live, feel like I was Spanish, and actualize that I didn’t have to limit my traveling to my time abroad, but that I could travel after it all ended. 

While my peers never meant to be insensitive, it really bothered me when they said they were never pressured to travel to all these new places because they could just come back. They could just do that. I never thought I could. And in some twisted way, I realized this could be true for me too. 

Córdoba, especially, became a place I wanted to return to over and over again. Even live in. And I think if this statement hadn’t been stated, I would’ve been wallowing over the idea of never returning. 

The combination of new experiences, pain, solidarity, a broken cell phone, and these statements made me realize that I was actually alive. I was breathing and I was CONSCIOUS. For the first time, I did not just exist, I experienced life. I was not watching it happen on a timeline, I was the one in control. Dear God I wish you could understand that I never felt alive. No matter how many rollercoasters, pains, and rites of passage I’ve done, it felt like life was endless and empty. 

Descartes argued that consciousness proves existence: “I think, therefore I am.” But I think he stopped too early. The question is not only whether we exist, but whether we have even experienced existing. I knew then. It only took me 21 years to see this.

But returning to this philosophy I propose: when you finally accept and realize your consciousness, then you can begin. Premise 1 is now fulfilled.

Premise 1: You must accept your consciousness. 

But this now leads us to finding the second premise. If we now know we are conscious, what does this mean? 

For me, it meant understanding that I can take control of my life. Each external decision, each change did not have to follow systemic, cyclical bullshit. Sure, I am not wealthy. Sure, I am a first-generation student. Sure, I am a second-generation American. Sure, I struggle a lot. That doesn’t mean these have to run my life. Recognizing my agency does not mean pretending my circumstances do not exist. It means refusing to believe that they are entirely my existence.

I can pick up my life and become a waitress in Barcelona or I can intern for a painter in Paris. I can work on a farm in Texas. I have the autonomy to choose the next steps I take. Even if my choices are shaped by my history, circumstances, and environment, I still experience myself as a person capable of immense change. Free Will, to me, is not the absence of influence, but the ability to respond to it and even control it.

And part of the reason I know this also comes from the fact that I’ve grappled with the bad and pain in a world of an omnipotent God. But if we do not have choices, how are we to know what is good?

In all of this, I finally discovered Free Will. 

Premise 2 is now solved.

Premise 2:You have free will.

And this leads us to finding the third premise. If we know we are conscious and alive and we know we can take control of it, what do we do from here? 

You must actualize your thoughts and decisions. You must make the call. You must sign that lease, quit your job, finish your degree, do your thesis. Whatever it is; take the next step. Do not wait, do not procrastinate, or life will go right past you.

Premise 3:Actualize your decisions.

And now, you are almost at the point of solving your struggles (well not really). You now have the tools to do so. 

If I never came to this realization, I might still be on the depressing path of going to law school. Nothing wrong with that, but I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I might still be in unhealthy relationships. I might still be settling for my socioeconomic holdbacks. 

You never have to. You’re alive.

And maybe this doesn’t solve all of my suffering, but it sure as hell is one step of the way there.

The Philosophy of Free Will-Maxxing 

Premise 1: You are conscious and alive.

Premise 2: You have Free Will.

Premise 3: You can actualize your Will.

Conclusion: You can begin living a life that is fulfilling and meaningful.  

Julianna Partida, 2026